Week 8, Day 3
I only knew that I’d had enough of my mediocre existence. Mediocre thinking. Actions that weren’t genuine, and therefore, mediocre. Having mediocre. Mediocrity had become so distasteful that I was mentally ready to die to get past it. The very definition of mediocre is what drove me to find the Academy in the first place.
Or so I thought.
Last weeks incident with the adversary S’tBuod(pronounced Su) confirmed that I might be killed any day. The quote “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” had a literal meaning here at the Academy that I was unaware of. I wasn’t even aware first year students were sent out on missions. Missions are what attract adversaries, as missions are guided by our inner purpose. These missions are generated at random, according to how strong your solar plexus becomes.
This feeling is similar to the excitement one feels at the boarding of a plane to go on vacation, or when embarking on a new journey. The feeling of confidence and belief in oneself and their abilities with no hesitation. This inner feeling grows stronger daily, because of the uncertain nature of daily activities on campus. One is strengthened from the sun, nutrition, daily activities, purposeful mental stimulation, and lastly, rehearsed practice to gain mental stamina. Stamina is necessary for the body to overcome the stress of the constant engagement with adversaries mentally. The more stamina one posseses, the longer one can resist the opposing forces and remain unmoved.
Some engagements are more physical than others, but most of the damage is done mentally. The strain on the body and stamina that it takes to consistently avoid mental shutdown after last weeks incident(it was called an incident because one’s heart is not allowed to flinch at any time during the Academy) landed me with a physical illness. What this indicates is that the Academy manifests what’s happening mentally and spiritually as a completely physical reality, even though most times what’s transpiring isn’t seen. Manifestations of the mental happen outside of the Academy, but being on the campus itself is a trigger.
Any student who flinches must undergo trial by fire in the Destiny Chamber. The process is voluntary, and removes any incident strikes from the Hero records. Because Heroes are role models and leaders to the common man, they must not show any signs of doubt or ‘flinching.’
The fight or flight instinct is the body’s most powerful response. Therefore, because the Academy makes real any desires and fears of the heart, one is forced to navigate between missions and battles each day. It’s not uncommon to see students frozen in the hallways as the battle mental adversaries unique to their journey. Sometimes the students perspire, but it’s akin to watching someone in a trance.
The Destiny Chamber highlights deeper fears. These are also fears one may be unaware of. This program lasts a two weeks(the Academy runs two weeks ahead of the human schedule). The first day the chamber revives the latest incident and ultra highlights the moment of doubt for as long as the student can keep stamina, making it as real as the fire in the above photo. The fire appeared and felt real, but it was only a physical manifestation of how engulfing my fear was in the moment of flinching. As the week progresses, each fear is encountered and dealt with to allow the fight instinct to gain stamina, along with changes in their physical manifestations. Hail, freezing rain, freezing temperatures, scalding temperatures, hot water, being stuck with needles, etc. are all manifestations that have been known to occur.
Why did I want to train in the Destiny Chamber? Because mediocrity comes as a result of self-doubt. Anything that I hadn’t accomplished in my life was solely due to my unwillingness to sacrifice everything.
Only when you are willing to lose everything can you gain what it is you desire. I want to save the world. This is what gives me calm, that whether I die or not is irrelevant. I will. Somehow. And if I have to die to do it, so be it.
I can already feel the next adversary beginning his descent. This time it won’t matter.