The Seeker Post #13
I’ll tell ya, as a writer, I struggle daily with doing what I should be doing. 99% of that is writing how I believe a piece should be written, no matter what’s fashionable in the blog scene, fitness world, veganism, environmentalism, the list is extensive.
I restarted this article FOUR times. I’ve written and deleted entire copy of no less than five full pages. Yes, five FULL single space, size-11 font, fully punctuated paragraphs. I even got my laundry done by the end of the third page of deletion. By the fifth page, I had already walked around looking for the cafe of the day when I found a shop in Little Italy that sold CBD drinks and cold brewed coffee(oh but James aren’t you fully alkaline??..Yes, I stay truly balanced, I like to make sure my immune system still works properly from time to time, plus having coffee after being alkaline intensifies the effect, just like your first drink or smoke after abstaining for a while…sorry I forgot we were talking about something else before I was bombarded with questions about my alkalinity…ahem, back to the coffee story which is actually the story of how this piece got written and published), so I bought some, walked around lost for a few extra blocks, and I didn’t pull my GPS out just to make sure I stayed lost.
Then a good friend of mine told me to stop trying to make the blog about words. Maybe just say what you want to say without trying to make it sound pretty and wordy. In trying to create the world’s best blog post, I ended up coming up with all these great sounding titles, which inevitably made the copy follow suit, and in holding onto silly pride, because you announced on social media unfinalized plans you risk embarrassment because of your own lack of planning.
So I erased one more time and wrote the title you see up top, which was actually the subtitle of the previous title, “Evolving Butterflies” which one may have seen on my Instagram which is @jaywilltay if you don’t follow already, lol. Hint hint.
Now that I’ve warmed up my typing fingers and flicked my creative node a few times, I’m all sorts of ready to lay down what you came here to get; the answer to the title of this blogpost. How to do something crazy and not regret it.
I’ll be honest, I don’t regret anything I’ve done in my life, and at 36 years old, the reason I can live not feeling any regret is that I don’t hate or regret the person I am now. While I know I have many more lessons to learn, and a whole lot more change ahead, I know everything will always work out okay in the end, because if I’m not okay I’m probably dead.
Regret means you feel as if a mistake is unrecoverable. There’s no chance to rectify the mistake. If that were the case, life wouldn’t be worth living. If it’s one mistake, game over, then we should all just quit, right? But, we have the gift of being able to live and to live means understanding what can happen, will happen, regardless of the decisions we make. If we understand that with every effect there is a cause, and with every cause, there is an effect. Our causes are caused by our beliefs, driven by our thought processes whose aim is to solidify and reinforce belief patterns or lose them.
A balance of feminine and masculine energy, the yin-yang(it’s yinyang, but spellcheck doesn’t even know that masculine feminine is never separated, but always working together) is necessary for one to “flow” with what seems to be the ups and downs of life, however, there are no true ups and downs, there are only causes, and the effects of those causes, which lead to more causes and therefore more effect. This is why it’s important to examine what one believes. There’s a stark difference between what one believes to be true and what one KNOWS to be true. If one is constantly doing what one knows can be true, then nothing “wrong” can ever really happen.
Hopefully, that explained making crazy decisions, but if not, you’re in luck, because there’s way more to that story. I hope what’s next makes more sense than all the information I just snuck into those previous paragraphs , but we will explore them in time, regardless. Now for what you really came here to read.
“How to Do Something Crazy and Not Regret It”
Me and my best friend and roommate finished cleaning the apartment, my very own, very first apartment in my name in the city I grew up in. It seemed to take longer than I anticipated(a full decade) but with help from really good people, the plan was still all coming together, and while leaving the apartment behind was a little bittersweet, but still part of the whole process.
I can’t even joke with you, the beginning of this paragraph also started a very different way, and I deleted yet another hour of copy. So I’ll get to the point.
This wasn’t easy. But anything actually worthwhile never is, but it will never leave you in a worse state than one previously was in. Regardless of what I thought about Columbus, I did buy a car there, have my own one bedroom apartment, keep a pretty decent slew of jobs on hands, and live pretty cheaply. But it’s a TERRIBLE state to write in. Jesus Christ couldn’t clear the “chemtrails” and dark ass sky from there if that’s where he lived. Six months out of the year are gray and cold, and I’ll be honest, my caramel skin needs the sun. I always said that I needed 70 degrees and sunny to operate at my finest.
For six months the roomie and I decided we would save as much as we could by living in a one bedroom apartment-the living room was no longer my extra space-and made the choice to move by April, no matter what. I’ll tell you this; it’s never going to be perfect. Not one part of it. Not how much money you save, not the job you’re trying to get, accept that and you can get through anything.
If you stick to your decision, then you’ll make choices that allow you to do exactly as you planned. Here is where you learn to accept the choices and the subconscious thought process that got you there. In the end, some part of me wanted to test the “overpriced box in the hole in the wall apartment” theory to see EXACTLY how uncomfortable the situation is. Because I understand true knowledge comes from doing. With that knowledge I can experience everything life truly has to offer. A move like this across the country to live in a box in downtown San Diego a stone’s throw from the water is EXACTLY everything I wanted to feel.
I knew this was a part of the process. I wanted it to be a part of the process, because in doing this, we’d be able to appreciate every time we were allowed to work with more. It’s about evolving, learning about the self, and gaining the knowledge to think, and acting on that thinking to manifest what it is that we want in life.
As I type these words, I realize that it’s a blessing to be able to do these things and write about them. I intend to do all the crazy hard things that people say exist in life, like moving across the country on four year plan to the very place you’ve always wanted to go, while sipping on some all-natural wellness beverage taking in the sun’s rays with the weather just perfect. I’ve wanted to do the “struggling writer” thing for a while, you know, the kind you see in movies. I figured, if I do movie worthy shit, and live a somewhat decent life, maybe I can gain immortality. Maybe I can live forever in the minds of those who were told also that they couldn’t do something, that it would be too hard to overcome, that it’s better to not even try.
Yes, I wanted to make this move for selfish reasons. I wanted to free myself from the comfort of living in a place that I knew like the back of my hand. I absolutely wanted to live frugaly in one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen with my eyes after torturing myself through a 34 hour 2300 mile drive across America. I wanted to dye my hair the color of Goku’s Super Saiyan Mode, and do something crazy, and live to tell about it. I wanted somehow, for the people reading this, to feel some hope in their own lives after I selfishly lived mine.
Takeaways from Doing Something Crazy and Not Regretting It
I wanted the world to be a better place. That’s why I could do something crazy and not regret it. They said it’s impossible to change the world. They didn’t realize that changing the world starts with the individual.
If a person believes the world cannot be changed, it’s because they themselves do not want to change. To live as naturally as possible in as much harmony as possible takes an evolution of each and every human being on this planet, and I can’t ask of someone else what I am unwilling to do myself. To write a piece like this, as the sun continues to shine through the window, I know that living your truth in order to be able to give others hope is the most humbling and exciting way of living. No matter what happens, what is supposed to happen WILL indeed happen, and if one is living the best possible way that they can, they should expect also that what NEEDS to happen for their growth, will indeed happen. The universe gives us what we NEED based on how we BELIEVE. You will always end up in the situation that you’re supposed to be in if you act according to how you believe.
Here are the true takeaways on How to Do Something Crazy and Not Regret It:
- Decide to do something, just make sure you really believe it to be your truth at the time, knowing that change always happens, and if you don’t find out, know that you’ll wish you had tried.
- Change is the result of needing to grow, evolve, or learn something new about ourselves. Accepting change means we accept our lives and the responsibility of doing what is best for ourselves, because we are a part of the world around us.
- Understand your choices should be made to help yourself GROW. Growing and becoming stronger in life doesn’t happen overnight. Realize you have a limited amount of time to work with, and that the time and days don’t ever cease to cycle, so if you don’t do it NOW, it’s highly unlikely you ever will.
- Doing the hard things makes it easier to appreciate the small things. If you’ve never done anything to stub your toe, you’ll never appreciate what it feels like to not have that pain that causes a limp. The pain is what teaches us, the pain is growth, and the best memories because pain is the strongest teacher. Accept the pain, and you accept life.
- Life will only take you where you allow it. Flow with it, naturally, like a river that passes by various shores on the way to the destination of the ocean, placing us in harmony with the world around us. To fight to cling to a shore or area is pointless. If you are working on yourself you can understand that if you are working on doing better, life will indeed get better. By thinking that, we can act on those things that lead us in that direction, which is also known as trusting one’s intuition.
- You can live freely when you trust your intuition. The commitment comes with deciding to evolve no matter what. Embrace the pain, embrace life, embrace change, and you can truly live freely. Pain teaches us joy, life teaches us an appreciation for living, and embracing change makes evolving easier.
- Get a partner. Or two. What I mean by this is get yourself a friend who will cheer you on, tell you the truth about the situation no matter how you feel, and keep it absolutely 100 with you. I have purposely built a circle of people not afraid to keep it real with me so that I can see clearly. We all see better together.
- Enjoy the choices. Choices were made because we knew they would lead us down the path we needed to go down the most. Appreciating the journey helps us understand life. To live, to evolve.
- You only live once. You should experience exactly what you think you should get to experience. If you choose to accept what comes along with that, maybe one day you’ll write a blog post like this and we can talk about it over coffee sometime.
So, see you next week. Oh yeah, this entire post took me at least 15 hours to write, so don’t quit your day job just yet folks, but you can move to San Diego. Just save a couple months rent and have about another month’s rent saved up and that will force you to get a job soon and not bullshit around taking pics on the beach trying to prove how cool you are. It can sound dreamy, but life is exactly what you make of it, so it’s not about regretting anything, it’s about living through everything. So make that crazy decision. You’ll live to talk about it, I promise.