“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than yourself.”Sean Mcguire – Good Will Hunting
This post isn’t about loss. It’s barely even about the movie, which I’ve only just fully seen for the first time in the last few days.
Recently taking Instagram off my phone to get some things done opened up some more creative space, and after having been told I reminded a friend of Matt Damon’s character in the classic flick I knew I had to give Good Will Hunting a watch. I know, scold me later.
Here is the Good Will Hunting short version of the Netflix description :
“When professors discover that an aimless janitor is also a math genius, a therapist helps the young man confront the demons that are holding him back.”
Demons. We all have them. Over the last week, I’ve had so many signals that I was going to be facing my own demons. The funny thing is, I thought I had faced most of them.
These demons are the ones that you don’t get the opportunity to face unless you’ve been doing some serious cleaning. These are the demons that are well fed with old and outdated belief systems that have kept them comfortable and camouflaged within our minds and lives.
Watching Matt Damon play the role of a genius, angry, self-centered young white male had me shaking my head, but at the end of the day, I allowed my demons to guide me and my day to day actions without me even knowing it.
Arrogance. Fear. Lack of empathy. Procrastination. Inconsistency. The list goes on. These are vices that I thought I had overcome and dealt with, but there’s still some areas that need work.
These demons have hampered my genius. They have held me back. And I have done nothing but let them.
Because we are all geniuses in our own ways, and we all need to discover how to stop holding ourselves back.
So why the first sentence about loss? Well, you can’t really truly care about something outside of yourself, more than yourself, unless you have let those other things go, completely. And until you can care about something outside of yourself, more than yourself, you can never truly experience loss.
I have ran from everyone that ever truly loved me, thrown wrenches in my own plans to keep myself from truly caring or experiencing true failure, and given myself every reason in the book as to why my situations aren’t always really MY FAULT.
Good Will Hunting. Because we are all geniuses in our own ways, and we all need to discover how to stop holding ourselves back.